I notice the struggle these days more and more and instead of feeling paralized by it, I am encouraged to work throught it. I have to say this is not always easy and it is surely not meant to be, otherwise I suppose it would be called something different. We can hear a word and put anything to it as we have these samskaras that remind us of how we are to be and how we have always reacted to thought, emotions, words or actions. Just like a record we can choose to repeat these patterns and feed the thoughts or emotions or we can try not to deepen the groove and move toward other patterns of reacting.
I am practicing letting go both on the mat and off. I got emotional today when I reflected on the struggle. Not my own today, although I did struggle, but that of others. I reflect and only try to pray and send good energy and thoughts. I still feel amazed when I see the energy shift. I still say the word coincedence even though I am starting to believe there is none.
I have a practice and so many times I bring that struggle to the mat only to let it go through my breath and through the various asanas that I am presented with. I love the blueprint that I have in my pratice to help me through whatever difficulty I may face. I am grateful for the time to struggle through and to sometimes find the freedom in whatever I am doing. Nothing is really easy for me and I know that people are struggling all over the world. In my little world I think about my partner, my kids, my extended family, my friends, my students and even business associates. It is sincerely the ebb and flow of life I imagine and what keeps me even is my practice. There is no second thought for me these days as I am seeing what practice does and how much I can take a step back and have faith and trust that what I do on the mat centers me and gives me space if I let it. I allows me to tap into my God and my higher self again if I let it.
Sometimes the struggle is so difficult, whether it is pain in the body or in our emotional bodies, it can be very hard. I remember hearing from a friend who was struggling to let the tears wash you clean. I think about that and I am grateful for tears. I myself have used them a lot but I think less and less as I get older and get more grounded in practice. My faith has helped with this and trust in God that I am starting to see just about everywhere.