I feel loved today and for that I am so thankful and very blessed. I have to say that I don’t have many expectations these days on the anniversary of my birth however today I was very happy, genuinely happy as to the direction of my life. I get up pretty early and it’s a regular schedule but for some reason there is a spring in my step and I feel peaceful. I go to meet the vegetable delivery guy, Bob, and he blurts out “Happy Birthday”. I’m a little stunned but I like it. It’s a fun and easy exchange to start me on my day.
The studio is gearing up as always with Hillary setting the stage. She rocks the intermediate series like no other and continues to try new things. I enjoy watching her progress as well being inspired by her practice. She sets the pace every morning for sure. The students at AYM totally inspire and amaze me. After the chant they all blurt out a round of Happy Birthday! Crazy but fun. Ganesh is wearing a party hat and there is a sign on the board with the word LOVE in it and there are cards, gift bags and a new coffee mug. And it’s just 6 am!
Every smile and exchange that I had today was so pleasant. I think when you are happy, open and receiving people feel it and something taps into them to make them feel good as well. The yoga brings us all together in the rooms but seriously this is not an easy practice. There are physical demands, mental demands and then there are those judgements you just have to leave at the door. The self doubt, the comparisons and the questioning. Oh yeah and don’t forget about FEAR.
Today was different and I felt different. At I mentioned before, I felt peaceful but it was more of feeling at ease. Learning not to rush, not to have the continual worry mind chatter and to stay in the present was the key for me today. As I look back on the two sessions that I taught and the exchanges throughout the day I felt present. As a teacher there are a lot of demands in the room. Even if some of them are self imposed by yours truly they are there and this can cause stress. But today I practiced yoga and for that I am grateful. It was honest and there was a “union” or a coming together that I noticed in my actions and my mind and when I needed to, I paused.
I continue to trust that I am exactly were I am supposed to be and that everything happens for a reason. The faith for some reason just keeps getting stronger and I finally feel wiser today. Who knows about tomorrow but every day I step on the mat I step there with new eyes so that I can learn something new about the essence of myself. Trying to let go, to drop the rope and to breathe. I encourage people to do the same.
So we have heard the saying, ‘the Universe is testing me” and I guess I use this a lot. Zach wrote on his card, “The Universe may be testing you but I think you are going to pass with flying colors”. I am proud of the people around me, from my boys, my family – mom, dad, step mom, sis . . . , to my students, my special apprentice, my old friends and new friends to the random people I come into contact with. Thank you all for the beautiful thoughts, birthday posts, text messages, calls, birthday cards and sweet gifts. The gift of your presence was all I needed and I got so much more. Feeling overwhelmed but for the first time not crazy emotional and taking it all it as I need to. I feel well FED for a wonderful year ahead.