It is interesting to me to think how far I have come in the process of thinking positively and trusting in the universe. This is a practice in itself for sure and I thought this seems so simple but has to be shared. In reflection on my life, I have had a lot of fear and mostly the fear that I have felt and that continues to rise it’s ugly head (I know that’s a judgment) would always go back to my inability to control a situation or disappointment in an outcome not going my way. Mostly the fear and anger would come from not being able to control something or someone else.
Practice has been and continues to be a very useful tool for me. My abilities to let go and let God are practiced daily on my yoga mat. Bringing this into my daily life is something else. Here as well, it is interesting to see how far I have come. Recently I wanted to escape one part of my life that I have been doing for some time and wanted to have someone tell me that this was no longer serving me. Then it would be easy for me to justify this planned escape. But alas no one would go there, no one would back me up. These thoughts were mine and mine alone and I would have to work through whatever I had to work through on my own. My mind and me. The mind is so powerful and will really convince you of anything either negative or positive that you want to set out to do. The mind will tell you have you are happy, sad, angry, fearing and will convince you of your likes and dislikes. It has a preconceived notion of what is good or bad for you and what you can or cannot do. I’m taking about that monkey mind. I remember when I first heard that term and did not really grasp how or what monkeys and the mind have in common. I quickly figured it out and could picture what this terminology referred to and I started to experience this for sure. I pictured my thoughts hopping like a money from topic to topic never finishing what it set out to figure out. I understood the power of mind and why I needed my yoga practice and why it is necessary to be quiet so you can figure things out.
Since no one would give me license on the planned escape I secretly wanted to orchestrate, I recently decided to change my attitude and this goes back to my original concept of the power of positive thought. I practiced this from time to time for fun and sure enough if I thought negatively, then things just would be crappy and I would not feel at ease, feeling like I was swimming upstream or something. Fighting the current so to speak. With positive thoughts and positive energy around whatever I was doing or attempting to do, even if the outcome did not appear to produce, with positive thought I felt better and then I would figure that was the way of the universe and not something I could actually control. This came at a very good time before me and my minds sabotaged any of the gifts and benefits I was receiving. I thank my yoga practice, sitting in my attempt to meditate, reading and delving deeper so that I am able to hear, able to be present and able to swim with the current and trust, trust, trust . . . that I am right where I am supposed to be right now.